How I Overcame the Spirit of Offense & You Can Too

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In life there will come a time that something someone says (or doesn’t say) or do (or don’t do) will come across as offensive to you in regards to your standard or expectation of what you felt should have occurred in each specific incident.

Offense is defined as an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standards or principles.

After much evaluation and self-reflection I admit that I wasted much of my life mad at people who had no idea I was upset, or even confronting people who were clueless to my approach when sharing what they did that offended me.

In most cases I learned it was simply a matter of maturity. Sure, there will be things people will say or do that will rub us the wrong way but we can choose whether to overlook it or determine if it is serious enough to address.

In speaking of the spirit of offense, I like you have been on both sides of the spectrum. I’ve disconnected from people who I felt did not value me enough to change their behavior in relation how I felt they were or were not treating me. I also have had individuals who became offended if I did not reply to their text message or message they may have sent me on social media as quickly as they would have liked me to.

I know this sounds petty but so is the spirit of offense. Here is the number one thing that set me free: PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. People are going to be people. People are going to mess up. People are going to disappoint; some intentionally and others unintentionally but either way at one time or another friction is going to occur.

My evaluation of this is that it isn’t about what others do or don’t do that’s the most important. What matters the most is how we choose to handle the situation before it leads to an offense or even further a fall out with a family or friend.

Here’s How I Overcame and You Can Too: 

  1. Understand we all are flawed.
  2. Be patient with people while sharing your expectation
  3. Never try to control people.
  4. Place people in the proper position. Perhaps you are trying to make someone a friend who does not possess the necessary qualities. Or trying to make someone a mate who simply can not bring to the table what you desire of them.
  5. Take everything to the Lord in prayer.
  6. Weigh the situation on the peace scale. Do you have peace about going to the person? Is it really that big of a deal? Or does it continue to reoccur and bother you and you feel disrespected.
  7. Learn to observe more than you speak. People will always show us exactly who they are and what they are capable of if we will pay attention.
  8. Ask God to purge your heart and strengthen you so that everything doesn’t bother you.
  9. Don’t keep it bottled up. Journal it and only have necessary conversations with those who matter the most. The girl who accidentally bumped you in the mall isn’t important enough for you to lose your cool publicly. However, someone whom you continue to bump heads with in business may be of importance for you to have a conversation.
  10. Learn how to communicate effectively- Often times we talk while failing to communicate. Listen closely with the intention to understand rather than to respond. Then choose your words wisely and avoid beginning conversations with “You.” Instead try “When you do ______, it makes me feel ___________.”

In following the above steps the spirit of offense will have no space in your life.

 

 

 

 

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Why Healing is Essential to Your G.R.O.W.T.H.

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In the world we live in today we all have encountered hurt and pain as well as experienced betrayal and disappointment. However, the key to living a successful life full of healing, wholeness and prosperity is learning to release and let go!

Number one, we must learn to release people who have hurt or disappointed us all while not forgetting to release ourselves in the process. To release someone can also be viewed as forgiving them and releasing what they did to you. Too many are bound today by people who are either a.) no longer among the living or b.) have moved on with their lives. One of the greatest tragedies is to allow the issues of life to put you on pause and keep you from living the purpose filled life you were predestined to live.

We must also learn to love ourselves while we are in the process of becoming who we were originally created to be. Refuse to allow your current dilemmas, setbacks or addictions to cause you to love yourself even less. Know that God chose you before the foundation of this world and He never expected you to be fully qualified for He has that portion covered.

Remember this: God doesn’t call the qualified but He qualifies the called!

 

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Number two, we must learn to let go of the people who hurt us. This includes family members and friends as well as teachers, coworkers, church family; etc. Whatever they did is not worth holding on to and by harboring the offense or un-forgiveness you will end up with a sick soul.

I want to encourage you through this acronym of G.R.O.W.T.H:

G- rab ahold of God’s vision for your life. Vision comes from God not man. No  matter how many prophetic lines you stand in, or $100 lines you are manipulated into, vision can not be bought, but only birthed through prayer and communion with God.

R- come into the REALIZATION that you are enough and God chose you! Release feelings of unworthiness knowing that you are  joint heir of Christ and you are forgiven and you are worthy of being the child of THE KING!

O-pen your heart and let God and people in. Trust God to protect you from perpetrators. Sure, guard your heart but do not gate it. When we gate our hearts nothing can come in and nothing can go out. Life is all about relationships. Aren’t you tired of appearing connected when you really are disconnected? Relationships and friendships take work but God is all about them both. Refuse to allow the pain of your past to cause you to trust again. Not everyone is out to hurt you.

W-in others over with love! We must get back to sharing the love of God on a consistent basis. We don’t have to beat people over the head with our Bibles but we love them back to Christ. It is by loving kindness that we are drawn unto Him.

T- ell the devil NO! When he wants you to use your pain as an excuse to disconnect and become isolated; tell him NO! It’s a set up and a trap to get you alone so he can attack you! Solitude is when you are in a place with God but isolation is when you are all alone. Choose to enter a place of solitude but be careful not to shut down and shut others out due to pride or fear of being hurt because that enables the adversary to have an upper hand on you. For where two or more are gathered in the name of Jesus, He shall be in the midst! We are not designed to make it in this world alone. We were created to need one another!

H- elp and build- Life is all about helping others along this journey called life. Extend grace to others that was once extended to you. This is how Women of Standard was birthed out of my desire to be encouraged and in helping others God was helping me. It was in operating in what I now know was purpose that caused my healing process to begin. Choose to help others and build them up where you may even have been torn down.

Know that healing is essential for G.R.O.W.T.H.!

Check out my live training/teaching on this subject matter and be sure to subscribe to my You Tube channel to be notified whenever I release new videos!