Overcoming Traumatic Experiences

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Trauma can be defined as an emotional upset, or a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury.

Growing up I experienced a traumatic childhood which led to me having severe nightmares in which certain scenes replayed in my psychological mind as well as issues that led into my adulthood. I had issues with trusting people as well as loving myself.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid twenties that the nightmares stopped. However, as a woman soon to enter my mid thirties those traumatic experiences tend to creep up on me every now and then.

This happened recently when my Mom and I released our new book, Redeeming the Time. We hosted a live event Mother’s Day weekend in an effort to help bridge the gap between mothers and daughters worldwide.

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(My Mom & I on the Day of Our Book Release: May 12, 2018)

During the event as we discussed different scenarios from my childhood, I began to struggle in my seat and fight back tears because I literally began to feel the pain from those life changing moments I had experienced. WOW! It’s amazing how traumatic experiences that happened over twenty years ago can still trigger certain emotions.

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(Some of the attendees of Redeeming the Time Live Event & Book Release)

Growing up I remember feeling like I was crazy because I was put on medication, talked all the time and always got in trouble to the point I was forced to go talk with a therapist. I used to literally think something was wrong with me.

When I was eighteen years old I tried to terminate my life by taking a bottle of pills. Ironically I awakened to the worst headache ever! In the midst of it all none of what I have been through had the power to terminate my life; not even my own attempt.

Perhaps you are experiencing the pain from your childhood, a failed marriage, emotional or physical trauma of any sort. Be encouraged today knowing that you will live through all of this.

Writing this book with my Mom was the hardest out of all the (eight) books I’ve written. Why? Because I had to accept the fact that my Mom and I remember certain things differently and where it was traumatic for me a lot of those things she was able to “block out” of her memory. However, I have yet been able to do so. But that is the interesting thing about relationships, none are perfect but are necessary. You can’t just divorce your family; although some people try. I believe the Lord has given us the family we have for a reason; a purpose; to help birth out of us all He has placed within us.

After a fabulous event on Saturday, I was awakened at 4AM with an upset stomach and tears streaming down my face as I relived the trauma of my childhood when my mom was married to her second husband (who physically abused me.) I didn’t call anyone because I didn’t think anyone would understand and besides I was embarrassed because my Mom and I had literally just released this new book that was already helping many especially those who attended the event.

I admit, in those moments I cried out to God asking Him why did I have to do this? I remember the ache in my heart being so severe that I thought I was having a heart attack. I remember coaching myself through various breathing techniques.

In that moment I grew angry with my Mom all over again. I was confused as to what I was feeling and even questioned God, “Will this pain ever go away permanently?”  I began to regret hosting the event and writing the book. The cost was too severe. Having that conversation live was like someone had yanked the scab off my wounds.

After crying out to the Lord in prayer I learned that more healing was needed in my life as well as between my Mom and I. Often times as writers and even artists the words we write, or the pictures we paint are to bring personal healing into our lives first.

Being led to turn on the television, I came across the Unsung story of Marvin Sapp. He shared how each of his songs that hit the Billboard charts were all birthed out of tremendously painful experiences such as the lost of his father, his wife and beyond. He said he remembered telling God “I don’t know if I want another #1 record. It cost too much.”

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I too can relate to this because every book I’ve written have become a best seller (with my 1st book, The Power in Waiting & The Entrepreneur Blueprint being my TOP best-sellers) and cost me tremendously. Since 2013 I have been sharing different portions of my story in different books and now I am ready to shift into writing novels.

In an effort to experience deeper healing I created a character named Chelsea (whom I introduced in my book: Turbulence) whom I get to use to release all of the creativity I have bottled up inside. There are certain parts of my story that I don’t feel comfortable sharing however, the great thing about novels is you can write a “fictional” story that may include some of your life truths. How awesome is that?

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(In Florida on Vacation this past weekend)

Writing has always therapeutic for me although it’s not easy being transparent I always feel much better after I share especially after I receive feedback from others who have shared the same experiences as I have and my story encouraged them not to give up on life.

If you are going through a tough time remember this: The suffering of your present time isn’t worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18) Despite what it may currently feel like, know that all you are facing now is only temporary. Sure, you may be facing a tremendous mountain but remember you have the power to declare a thing and it shall be so! (Mark 11:23)

There is comfort in God’s presence as well as His word. Whatever you are in the midst of working on today I encourage you to FINISH! Sure, it may cause you great pain but God needs people in the earth who are willing to echo His voice in the Earth and in order to reign with God we must also be willing to suffer with Him. (II Timothy 2:12).

I encourage you to grab a copy of my Mom & I new book, Redeeming the Time which is guaranteed to provide a deeper outlook on the value of relationships not only between mother and daughter but monogamous and platonic connections as well.

No relationship is beyond repair and either we surrender to the healing process now or later; either way eventually we will have to deal with the hurt, pain, frustrations, disappointments, unforgiveness; and decide to forgive and work through our process. 

Click the link to purchase your copy: bit.ly/redeemingthetimebook!

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~Relationships 101 ~

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Today while at my desk working I began to reflect over previous friendships, partnerships and relationships in general. There have been some people that I’ve had to walk away from and some that have walked away from me.

In thinking of this I learned that we are the only ones who can determine who we allow into our intimate space and who we must re-position to the balcony. There have been some that were once in my inner circle that I had cut off due to immaturity and really not knowing how to face challenges in life therefore, instead of dealing with the issues I would run away from them instead. There have also been some that I disconnected from due to finally realizing some things and coming to terms with the fact that the relationship no longer served me.

There were some connections in which individuals have disconnected from me due to misunderstandings or whatever was considered a nonnegotiable in their life.

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Lastly, there have also been times when I have allowed people to stay in my life much longer than they should and I paid for it in the end.

The point I am trying to make is in everything you do give it your absolute best. Whether it be friendships, professional relationships and partnerships or dating relationships as well. Give it all you got! Don’t allow fear of them walking away or previous failures hold you captive from experiencing true love and the advantages the right partnerships can bring.

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Life has many things to teach us on a consistent basis if we would lend it our ear and listen with our soul rather than our heart. You see, your soul is where your mind, will and emotions live. The depths of who you and I are is found in how we think, operate and allow things to affect us.

Following your heart can oftentimes be misleading and will send you down paths you never intended to take. Be prayerful and cautious, not fearful and suspicious. It’s perfectly okay to guard your space and determine who you will allow to come in and who needs to exit stage left.

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No matter your decision remember you can’t make it in this life alone. Face your issues, as well as your fears, love people and give them permission to fail and make mistakes. The number one problem in relationships is we fail to communicate effectively. Sure, we are talking but are we speaking in a language that is foreign to the listener? Are we so concerned and wrapped up in our own needs that we neglect the needs of the person we are trying to convey a message to?

Search within and really evaluate your friendships, relationships and partnerships that have gone wrong. Then, accept the truth of whatever the common factors are and commit to becoming better in the necessary areas. Even people who walk away from us without a cause can teach us a lesson.

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Be sure to keep people in their proper places. Don’t lean too much on another human more than you do God. He’s jealous and He will shut it down if that’s what it takes to get your attention.

No matter how close we may walk with Holy Spirit we will all be disappointed in life, hurt people as well as be hurt by them. The growing factor is to learn how to shift and learn from things that have happened and refuse to allow your heart to turn cold toward others due to previous pains you have caused others as well as what they have caused you.

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Walk in love today, and remember to give your best to your friend, partner, family and loved ones while pouring your heart into all you do and trust God to protect you as you serve and allow others to serve you!

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 Every Monday I will be sharing Thoughts from The Trailblazer pouring out whatever is on my heart at that time that I feel will be beneficial to you. Feel free to comment below to continue this conversation. Share this article with intimate study groups, women’s organizations or any network you feel would benefit from reading it.

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Passionately pushing you toward purpose from the pulpit to the marketplace!

carla r cannon2
Carla R. Cannon
“The Trailblazer”
http://www.CarlaCannon.com