How I Fired My Boss By the Age of 30

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Never in a million years would I have dreamed that I would be where I am today. You are reading the blog of a woman that many counted out; heck; I even counted myself out! You ever have so many people speaking against you to the point you start believing what they are saying about you?

Out of my mother’s two children, I was her problem child. I was always fighting, running away from home, stealing, partying, drinking, smoking; pretty much doing anything I thought I was big and bad enough to do. I also ended up pregnant at the age of 17 and should honestly have had AIDS by now due to the reckless life I was once living but by the grace of God I am still standing; alive, healthy and disease free (PRAISE BREAK)

I honestly didn’t care about my life. I was super disrespectful to my mom, was angry with my inconsistent Dad while spending much of my time trying to find him in the older guys I seemed to attract. One thing I’ve learned is that men can detect/smell a desperate, lonely and broken woman. But hey that’s an entire different blog I’ll have to write on a different day!

What does all of this have to do with me firing my boss by the age of 30? It was because of the things I had gone through that stirred up such a passion and desire to encourage others. It was out of my discouragement that I began to write a newsletter to empower others. Not knowing that newsletter would develop into a magazine which would evolve into a movement including me hosting annual conferences with women literally traveling all across the globe to attend.

Mind blowing right? It gets better…

None of this was intentional for me. I started with a fervent love for God and people and He did the rest. I know business experts want to focus on how to make money and all that but I say the reason why I am successful today is because money was the last of my focus. I was not focused on monetizing my message. I was focused on getting a message of hope out to the masses that later developed into books, training programs/courses, live and virtual events, my own consulting firm and publishing company.

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Holding my 1st book released in 2013: The Power in Waiting. Click here to grab your copy:
http://carlacannon.com/books/

In 2013 I wrote a book sharing a portion of my life and titled it, “The Power in Waiting: What Do You Do When What God SAID Doesn’t Line Up With What You See?” Within 24 hours this book (pictured above) became an international best seller and also led me to being recognized on the National Best Seller List for Black Christian Authors. I found myself in the same category as one of my favorite authors, Valorie Burton (Author of Successful Women Think Differently- one of my favs; you should definitely grab this book.)

Anyway, after publishing this book one thing led to another and then BAM I began to write more books but my passion began to evolve as I saw myself evolve personally as a woman who loves Jesus into a woman who became passionate about entrepreneurship. Which honestly shouldn’t be a surprise, my mom has ran and operated her own boutique for over 20 years.

office 4Holding my book, The Entrepreneur Blueprint. Grab your copy by clicking here:
http://carlacannon.com/books/

What next? I wrote another book and it became an international best seller! I wrote another one after that and it became an international best seller! And another one..and you get my point. BUT…guess what? All of this did not come without the following:

  1. Focus
  2. Dedication
  3. Clarity
  4. Resilience
  5. Commitment

What I didn’t share is that I spent 4 years building my business while working my 9 to 5. By the time I left my job I had already tripled my income BUT I left with only $250 in the bank. HOW? Because as soon as the money was  coming in I was spending it right back out on websites, hard copies of my magazine, flyers; etc. I was very particular about my brand and I spend a fortune developing it (yes it was worth it)

Now, here’s the good stuff. HOW DID I FIRE MY BOSS BY THE AGE OF 30.

By doing the following:

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  1. I was FOCUSED- I knew what I wanted and I worked hard to get it by any means necessary (legally both in the earth and Heaven- haha- seriously) I was a coach before I knew what coaching was. I was helping people strategize before I knew what a Breakthrough Strategist was. I simply did what came natural to me. I didn’t chase money, or what was popular. I did what was in my heart to do: help people.I coached clients on my lunch break.I conducted interviews with some of the leading influencers in the Gospel industry while on my lunch break; sitting in my car. (Such as Kiarra Sheard, Valorie Burton, Dr. Traci Lynn, Shirley Murdock, Sarah Jakes Roberts, Tasha Cobbs & more!)

    I did not make any excuses. I stopped listening to what folks in my neighborhood told me I couldn’t do and started focusing on what God had put in my heart to do! I drowned out the naysayers and became laser focused on what had now become my KINGDOM ASSIGNMENT which led to my birthing as a KINGDOM ENTREPRENEUR!

  2. I was DEDICATED– Instead of going to lunch with my gossiping co-workers I went to my car and did research on how to expand my brand and develop client attraction. I coached clients on my lunch break and responded to emails. If you are going to be successful in anything you must first be dedicated. Success takes time.
  3. I operated with CLARITY- Although I had no intention on learning how to establish a multi-million dollar company (in which I am my way to doing) I had clarity on what I was to be doing at that very moment. Often times we can focus so much on the future that we miss the opportunity to live in the moment and enjoy today. I remember reading a book by Joyce Meyer (another one of my favs & inspiration): Enjoying Where You Are While On the Way to Where You’re Going and within the pages of this book I learned that life isn’t about the destination but the journey.
  4. I was RESILIENT: A resilient man or woman is a dangerous individual because they have a predetermined mindset that nothing or no one will ever stop them. Despite my haters and naysayers I made a decision to keep pressing forward. I refused to allow my past or even current struggles to define me. As I experience turbulence I refused to quit. I studied the eagle and learned how it used the storm to lift it higher into the sky and it flew above it. I thought that was amazing. That’s what we have to do in the midst of pursuing purpose and our dream; allow the storms that rage in our lives to lift us higher. Never allow your storm to cause you to quit. It was designed to bring out the best in you; the best that you never realized was there that only the storm could have birthed. Once you learn how storms work for your benefit if you remain resilient you will become more thankful for them.
  5. I was COMMITTED to finishing what I had started. Nothing about entrepreneurship is convenient. There is never the right time to leave your job, or buy a house or new car because you never know what each day will bring. Your phone could be ringing off the hook and your email and Pay Pal blowing up one day or one week and complete silence take place the next week. In order to fire your boss and live the life of your dreams you must be committed and learn to marry the process. As long as there is breath in our bodies we will always be in the process of becoming. The day our purpose is fulfilled in the earth is the day we will breathe our last breathe. Be committed to doing what God has placed in your hands to do or better yet what you say you desire or feel called to do.

There is so much more I could share but I’ll leave these 5 principles with you and as you focus on them and begin to master them I’ll return to share 5 more principles with you more so in the area of business and what it takes to develop and maintain a profitable business.

If you desire to speak more one on one regarding your business ideas or to gain clarity regarding your life purpose or current assignment. I’d love to serve you. Click here to learn more about Trailblazer Coaching & sign up to schedule your one on one session with me today! CLICK HERE: http://carlacannon.com/trailblazer-1-on-1-coaching/

Enjoyed this blog? Comment below and let me know how it helped you.

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5 Ways to Dream with Your Eyes Wide Open

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One of the keys to successful living is to be purposeful, intentional and focused on what it is you say you truly want.

In a current virtual training entitled, 13 Days of Power I share 5 Ways to Dream with Your Eyes Wide Open. So many are finding themselves living depressed and unfulfilled lives but I am a fervent believer that we have more control than we give ourselves credit for.

Sure, we may not be able to control what happens to us but we can partake and be responsible for what happens in us. In the midst of hurt we can choose not to be offended. In the midst of divorce/transition we can choose not to be bitter. In the midst of a job layoff we can choose not to be depressed but instead tap into a new level of creativity and turn the current obstacle into an opportunity.

Below are 5 ways you can position yourself to live the life of your dreams:

1. Surround yourself with people who are where you desire to be- Instead of being intimidated be inspired.

2. Change your routine- Study what successful people do: Wake up early, workout, be strategic, guard your time

3. Revisit your vision often- This will keep you motivated, inspired & activated (as well as moving forward)

4. Get a mentor- It is impossible to change your life without a spiritual midwife

5. Create declarations for where you desire to be-Write them in present tense and read them aloud daily.

Join me tomorrow for Day 4 for 13 Days of POWER on Periscope @CarlaRCannon!

The wake up call

3 Things to Leave Behind in July

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Today marks the last day of July and as we prepare to enter into this next month/chapter of our lives I want to share with you some things to leave behind in July:

1. Any disappointments that took place this month- LET IT GO! Whatever has happened accept it and move on! This includes things that happened and people it may have involved.

2. Previous successes– One reason many remain stuck in the past is by focusing on what they previously accomplished. Sure, you may have accomplished some great things in July and prayerfully you have celebrated them. But now it’s time to embrace the next challenge and take the momentum with you from your previous win into your next battle.

3. Any failures– So what you failed, that does not make you a failure. Whatsoever has taken place know that there was a lesson in it and the sooner you grab a hold of the lesson the sooner you can pass this particular test.

These are the 3 things I want you to focus on leaving behind in the month of July. Now, I encourage you to prophesy the outcome of the month of August (and practice doing this for each month of your life)

Your prophesy may sound something like this:

The month of August will be a month of un-explainable favor for me! I will meet my financial goal this month by implementing the strategies revealed to me in prayer.

I will focus on ________. I will accomplish________. 

Practice doing this every month of your life. So often we focus on New Year’s Resolutions and the overall vision for our lives rather than prophesying what each month will look like then taking steps toward making those prophesies a reality.

For example, you can’t say this is the month God is going to release un-explainable favor to me and yet you walk around like you have been sucking on lemons. You must show yourself friendly.

You can’t declare, This is the month I will meet my financial goal yet you are lazy and fail to put in the work to make this prophesy your reality.

It is my mission to bring you closer to Christ in every message I write for He longs to commune with each of us. No longer do you have to chase a prophesy when God’s word is filled with many promises we can use and declare over our lives daily. It’s time out for believing it for everyone else yet doubting God’s word when it comes to your life.

WANT TO JOIN ME LIVE? Meet me THIS SATURDAY at Conversations with BOSS Women: a 4 Hour Boot Camp Style Workshop designed for women in ministry & business!

Visit http://www.conversationswithbosswomen.com for more information and to reserve your seat today!

5 Things You Need to Live the Life of Your Dreams

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Do you currently find yourself living a life that you know is completely beneath your current capabilities?

Do you find yourself addicted to mediocrity rather than extraordinary living?

Are you ready to think and grow bigger?

As a Kingdom Entrepreneur for the past six years I didn’t always play big or think big. I used to self-sabotage a lot, make excuses or even shy away from large platforms. But the more my confidence grew the more I evolved and became comfortable in my own skin.

Many desire to be successful which requires one to take the stairs and not the elevator. You can not copy people’s content because you notice they gain a lot of traction and think it will work for you. I have witnessed this so much in the industry of coaching, publishing and speaking.

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(Speaking at my annual Women of Standard Experience in North Carolina)

You have a unique voice and gift to share with the world and in order to be effective you must

a.) Establish your own voice
b.) Deny the copy-cat syndrome
c.) Be willing to DO THE WORK!

Your brand/business will excel the moment you make a cognizant decision to BE YOU! Many fall into the trap of becoming who others desire them to be but that will cause you to become a fraud and hypocrite.

Here are a few keys to finding your own voice:

a.) Identify things and topics that you are passionate about
b.) Develop an audience who share these interests with you
c.) Identify a problem your target audience is having.
d.) Solve the problem through a product or service you provide
e.) Incorporate your personal story in your brand

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(Signing books at one of my live events in North Carolina)

Now that we have that out of the way there are 5 things I want to share that will help you live the life of your dreams:

1. Good Health- Taking care of yourself is a must. Many fail to add themselves to their calendar and have a tendency to put others before themselves. I know we are taught to do this. But if your body breaks down due to improper diet, lack of rest, or unresolved issues that lead to spiritual, physical, mental and even emotional depletion then what good are you to others?

2. Dedication– Marry the vision- no more one night stands with your vision and goals, but you must be committed to see what you desire to fruition and perhaps tweak your message, delivery or method while remaining true to who you are at the CORE.

3. Focus- Follow one course until successful. In my book, The Entrepreneur Blueprint I share this formula: Divided focus= NO focus. Let that set in.

4. Strategy- Ideas + Strategy = SUCCESS You can have a great idea but if you lack strategy and proper timing your effort will not be successful. Many do not lack talent, potential or drive but what is lacking is strategy. This is what separates US from THEM. US being Kingdom Entrepreneurs and THEM being worldy entrepreneurs who are only in their line of work for personal gain. Sadly WEs are winning because we carry the bread and butter (anointing + gifting) lack the key thing that is needed to be successful in any industry you may be in.

5. Resilience- Never Ever Give Up! In order to live the life of your dreams you must be willing to never quit. Now, I am not saying become a “hustler” and join the “no sleep/hustle hard” team. But I am saying is you must tap into your inner strength knowing that you have what it takes to be successful and keep pressing until you see manifested in the earth what God showed you in the spirit.

Remember skill alone is never enough!

DO YOU DESIRE COACHING? Coaching is a great way to transition from clutter to clarity as well as gain wisdom needed to get you to the next dimension in relation to accomplishing your dreams and goals.

By speaking with a trained professional who has already accomplished what you desire to do is a great way to get you moving at a fast pace.

If you are currently stuck, have lost your drive, or perhaps you have so many ideas running through your head but are unsure which to implement first, schedule a 60 minute coaching session with me TODAY and get ONE FREE! This is a great opportunity to speak with me confidentially allow me to hear your heart as well as share your struggles with someone who has been where you are and can help you overcome them!

Coaching with me will also help re-position you to dream with your eyes WIDE OPEN!

Click here to learn more & invest in your one on one coaching session today! I’d love to be your coach. Oh yeah and there’s no need to be nervous I offer a 100% money back guarantee on all of my trainings and coaching. Did I mention no one has never needed to use this option? Trust me, this is the answer to your prayers, now bust a move before this offer expires. I look forward to talking with you!

To Learn More About Trailblazer Coaching Click Here: 

https://carlacannon.com/trailblazer-1-on-1-coaching/

Carla R Cannon

Overcoming the “IF” Factor

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Have you ever found yourself thinking: I’d be happy when ____________or if ____________?  I too have found myself in this place.

I have said things aloud such as, Whoo! I can’t wait until the Summer” (like experiencing the Fall isn’t a blessing.) Or “My goodness it’s hot out here, I can’t wait until the Fall!”

No seriously….
I’ve even had real conversations with myself such as, “I’d be happier if I were married.” Or “I’d be happier once I left my 9 to 5.” One thing I’ve learned about life is our inner peace should not be determined by outside circumstances. What lies within you is far greater than anything that could ever happen around you.

Here are 5 steps to overcoming the “IF” Factor:

  1. Be grateful for your NOW!
  2. Embrace what God has for YOU!
  3. Develop a pre-determined mindset of intentional living!
  4. Look at others long enough to be inspired but turn away when tempted to covet
  5. Live life abundantly!

Following the above steps will position you to living a life of “WHAT NEXT GOD!?” Rather than “WHAT IF?” The first one operates in faith & the other is led by fear. Which will you choose? You have what it takes to overcome the IF factor! Live in your NOW & begin to thank God for His many blessings and name them one by one!

How to Know Who’s Voice is Assigned to YOU

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In a world where so many people have a platform, microphone, books, opinion, title and a calling how do you know who’s voice is assigned to you?

The simplest and less complicated way I can share this is to emphasize the scripture: John 10:27 that says, “My sheep know my voice, and I hear them and they follow me.” When a voice is assigned to you their message will be congruent with the Word of God for your life.

Meaning when they speak your baby will leap (spiritually; read Luke 1:41 for a deeper revelation) as a sign of agreement and this is what happens when purpose meets destiny. Often times when people follow me on social media I am often reading comments that say, “My pastor just preached this!” or “My girlfriend and I were just talking about this!”

When a voice is assigned to your life and your particular season there will be a spirit of agreement in your spirit. Now agreement doesn’t mean you will be comfortable. We all need to be connected to people who challenge and provoke us to change, show up bigger and dig deeper as we continue to passionately pursue purpose.

However, there is a severe danger in following the wrong voices. Many people that listen to my “Making BOSS Moves” broadcast when I am sharing about book writing and launching your business and pursuing your God given dreams while being a Kingdom Entrepreneur, those who tune in repeatedly are those who feel my voice is assigned to them because they:

a. Have already been feeling the unction or desire to write a book

b. Currently sense there is more to life than what they are currently doing.

c. Currently in pursuit of these things and may find themselves stuck.

Always look for confirmation when you are listening to people whether on social media, attending events and even in your personal relationships. Listening to too many voices can drown out and deter you away from the voice of God.

Simply put I encourage you to pray about the people you “follow” on social media, church services, conferences and even workshops you attend because the wrong word in the wrong season can destroy your life BUT the right word in the right season can change the very trajectory of your life and thrust you deeper into purpose!

For one on one spiritual coaching visit https://carlacannon.com/trailblazer-1-on-1-coaching/ and schedule your session today! I look forward to helping you UNLOCK hidden potential, UNLEASH you into greatness and ACTIVATE you further into purpose from the pulpit to the marketplace!

 

How to Develop a Positive Self Image

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How to Develop a Positive Self Image: Steps to Rebuilding After You’ve Been Torn Down
In order to operate successfully as a BOSS one must possess a positive self image. How we think of and view ourselves is usually embedded into us via our childhood. Whether it was your father who validated you, or failed to do so; your mother who protected you,or failed to do so; a teacher who saw the best in you and encouraged you to dig deeper; or failed to do so; etc. Each of these interactions helped shape our mentality (how we view ourselves) as well as our individuality (what sets us a part from others)
Perhaps you were like me in which you had teachers who doubted you and declared over your life that you would never be anything. Or maybe you had family members who doubted you or counted you out because of your issues. Or loved ones you violated you instead of protecting you. Been there? I have too.
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But the great news is it’s never too late to overcome even our deepest childhood hurts and lingering wounds.
I want to ask you the following questions and I want you to be honest with yourself:
1. How do you view yourself? -Do you see yourself through the lenses of others and your past or the lenses of God’s word in regards to your future?
2. What do you say about you? – When you fail at a particular task or activity do you then label yourself as a failure?
3. How do you care for YOU? – Do you care for your temple by monitoring what you eat, watch and who you surround yourself with?
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Repeat this after me and fill in the blank:
– I forgive _________ for doing ___________ to me. – Now is the time to release those who have held you captive due to you not releasing them wholeheartedly.
– I forgive myself for ___________________.- We all make mistakes and now is the time to forgive yourself and stop holding yourself hostage due to previous mistakes.
-I give myself permission to __________________. – Greatness is within you! It simply needs to be UNLOCKED, UNLEASHED & ACTIVATED! Guess what? You have the keys! Utilize them!
– I will passionately pursue my dream of becoming a __________________. -Life is full of possibilities and endless opportunities make a decision today to get out of your own way and passionately pursue purpose.
After you have went through the above self-coaching activity I’d like to leave you with a few things:
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Steps to Develop a Positive Self Image:
1. Refuse to accept what was spoken over you. – You are NOT who they say you are but who God says you are! Embrace it and accept it as your reality.
2. Renounce all negative words- Detox your mind and spirit of every negative emotion. Journal it out if you have to; as long as you release it.
3. Declare Gods truth over your life despite your reality – God’s word is the final authority for your life.
4. Recondition your mind- Do this by reading books that will restore your spirit. Start with the Word of God and then inspirational books that provide strategies to restore your self esteem and increase your confidence. Your true identity is found in Christ, not in the opinions of others.
5. Develop a healthy attitude about yourself which will be a contributing factor to how u view and relate to others.- How you feel about yourself is a reflection of how you treat others. Remember this.
6. Be strategic & intentional about WHO you spend your time with.- Who speaks over you has access to your soul. Soul= mind will and emotions. What we hear effects how we feel and how we feel influence what we do and say.
Doing the above will make you confident in your call, clarify your identity and teach you the necessity of celebrating others.
For more on deep soul searching, confidence building and positive self-image building activities click here to learn about: Defining the Pearl: Carla’s Signature Coaching Program that has helped hundreds of women worldwide: https://carlacannon.com/coaching-program/. Sign up today & receive (1) additional (30) minute one on one coaching session!
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Are You REALLY Doing What God Called YOU to Do?

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We are living in a day and time where the “busy” bug is biting so many of us. We are busy doing this and busy doing that without really making no true and lasting impact.

When in pursuit or discovery of our purpose it is vital that we return to our Source to receive clear instruction on what we should be doing during our short time here on this earth.

We each have an assignment and it is up to you and I to accept the call, submit to the process and fulfill our mission.

There are several ways you can know if you are doing exactly what God has called you to do but for the sake of time we will focus on one:

  • You feel absolute peace even in the midst of controversial or strenuous times.

Weighing all that you do on the peace scale will save you from having to take various medications due to anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.

Weighing everything on the peace scale is sure to not necessarily keep you in your comfort zone but even in the midst of walking on water you exude a confidence that literally takes over because it is not your strength or ability you are relying on.

This week focus on doing only what God has instructed you to do. Stop watching what everyone else is doing or how successful they appear to be. True success has nothing to do with wealth or money but more so with mindset and obedience.

Obeying God can bring about great peace in your life. Make a decision today to passionately pursue peace and refuse to overwhelm yourself with chasing dreams and goals. Seek the Master and He will enable all of your dreams to come true!

*Are you interested in mentorship/coaching? See the flyer below & visit http://www.trailblazerscoaching.org to learn more & sign up today!

tca

Inner Circle, Outer Circle & Balcony Sitters

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We are the sum total of the individuals we spend the most time with.

As we prepare to enter into a new year it’s important to do what I call a ‘Circle Check.’ In doing a circle check people fall into two categories. Either those you are connected to are an asset or a liability.

If they are an asset they add to your life. If they are a liability they are taking away from your life. Either way it is up to you to give people proper placement in your life.

You have those in which you will grant direct access (these are typically your spouse, close friends, spiritual advisors), then there are those you have to deny certain access to (these can be mentees and those in which you are called to serve) and then finally there are those in which you simply have to place in the balcony (as my sister, Real Talk Kim categorizes it.)

Those in which you give direct access to you may answer their phone calls immediately knowing they will value your time because they respect who you are, what you are called to and are there to add to your life not deter you from your destiny.

Next, you have those in which you may have to deny personal access to however, you may be there for them professionally. These are typically clients or mentees in which you are called to however, you may have to develop boundaries and keep it professional to ensure you are respected for the role you are called to serve in their life.

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Finally, there are those in which you have to place in the balcony and they may be family members and even long time friends. They mean well but fail to respect your time, lack focus and tend to bring you down from your wall of building and becoming all you were created to do.

When inserting people in the proper place you in return upgrade your life because you have not only upgraded your circle but you become clear on the roles certain people are called to serve in your life as well as you in theirs.

Here are the benefits of placing people in their proper place:

  1. Frees you from clutter- It is time to get rid of space fillers. Become more selective by valuing who you are and who you grant access to.Never be so anxious for friends that you allow individuals to come in who do not share your core values.
  2. Expands your level of thinking- Fill your circle with individuals who are smarter than you.Don’t allow them to intimidate you but understand that your network determines your net worth.
  3. Prevents you from shrinking back. When you fill your circle with other visionaries and water walkers then the spirit of competition and jealousy is rare. You want to surround yourself with others who are productive are not only dreamers but also EXECUTERS. They don’t just talk the talk but they walk the walk!
  4. Positions you for greater: If you are the only one in your circle walking in favor and opening doors for everyone else and they are simply riding along reevaluate those relationships.Relationships/Friendships should be of a mutual benefit. Meaning I come into this friendship with x,y,z and you enter in with x,y,z.

    Develop a vision for the type of friend you desire to be and the type of friends you desire.

    1. Know the difference between friends, fans and followers. Bishop Jakes calls them comrades, constituents and confidants.Friends have your back and are what I call your “Ride & Live.” Having them around makes life so much better.

      Fans are those who follow from afar and simply love and are often amazed by what you DO not necessarily who you are.

       

  • Followers are those who support you but you don’t have them in your personal space or inner circle. They support your movement but aren’t necessarily those you would invite to your home (your sanctuary and only available for those in your intimate circle.)
  1. Increases your faith– You want friends in your life where great things are happening in their life to the point that it increases your faith as it relates to what God is doing for you!It’s no fun to be the only friend experiencing financial breakthrough while others in your circle are hooked on struggle which often originates back to mind set.

    This is why you find rich people filling their circle with other rich people because statistics prove that rich or successful people think differently from poor or unsuccessful people.

 

REMEMBER: Law of Attraction: We attract what we are not what we desire.

Embracing Your Singleness

                                                       ~Living the Happy Single Life~

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Often times I am asked, “Why are you still single?” or “Why aren’t you married?” or even “What are you waiting for?” These type of questions always left me wondering what was wrong with me or why wasn’t I married yet. I even allowed these seeds sown by others to cause me to think I wasn’t good enough or as if true love would never find me.

Then it dawned on me: Carla you are only in your early 30’s. You are still discovering who you are, what you desire and what you truly want out of life. I believe too often we allow the opinions of others to cause us to dive into relationships broken, shattered and with various scars and even wounds that were left unattended out of a rush to find love.

In response to our premature actions (combined with outside influences), we end up with even deeper wounds and scars and even greater heartbreak. If I may be honest, relationships for me have always been distracting and left my tank on empty. Things would start off great and then end up horrible. I dated younger guys, older guys, black guys, white guys and my experiences all left me…in tears.

After much self evaluation I learned that I still carried a lot of hurt, shame, rejection and abandonment issues from my past and I attracted others who had the same or similar issues. I believe it’s called being woman enough when we can be honest and say, “I am not in the best condition at this time to date. I am working on ME.”

Often times we want to blame others, or men for example, instead of taking responsibility for our part. Truth is, we are what we attract and if we do not like what we are attracting we simply need to submit to our process of experiencing inner healing.

Being a professional woman and raising a teenager, I admit the path to self discovery can be a lot on one person. However, just because it’s challenging doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Below are a few ways I’ve learned to keep my head above water and Embrace the Single Life While Working on ME in the process:  

(1) PRIORITIZE YOUR LIFE: Understand God’s proper order for your life NOW so when your husband arrives you are already disciplined and accustomed to being submissive. You will understand that the proper order is: God first, your spouse (family) then everything else follows.

*Living a balanced life: Too much of anything can become bad. Don’t get caught up in feeling as if you have to attend EVERY church service and continue to neglect your family by missing special events such as birthday celebrations, anniversaries; etc. In doing so may cause your spouse (in the future) and loved ones to begin to resent the church and the God you say you serve. It’s okay to take time for family for even in doing so is an act of worship.

(2) FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES! Developing an optimistic attitude toward your single life can and will make each day enjoyable! Here are some things you can focus on rather than reminding yourself daily that you don’t have a man:

– You only have to answer to God

– Can focus fully on your own vision

– Your money is all yours (ha!)

– You can enjoy undisturbed fellowship with covenant sisters

– You can give yourself completely over to God

-You can launch your business! Write the Book Already! Or start your own organization

– You have time to work on you: Enroll in that new pilates class you’ve been desiring to be a part of, or purchase that Tae- Bo or P90X DVD and GET TO WORK on transforming your body and becoming the best version of YOU!

– Travel the world pursuing your dreams

(3) GET RID OF THE JUNK! This time of the year it’s always good to detox your mind, body and spirit from all the junk from this year. I even practice doing this on a daily basis. I encourage you to go on a 60 day spiritual detoxification journey and during that time study God’s word and spend more time in prayer. Allow God to break old habits that are not conducive to your future and also break unhealthy soul ties that perhaps have been lingering from your past preventing you from embarking upon the future God has for you!

(4) ENJOY TIME ALONE! Don’t be so anxious to link up with a man when you have yet to learn how to spend time by yourself. No man desires a super clingy woman. What are you going to do when he wants to go play golf or basketball with the boys? It is important that you have a well-established life before your mate shows up so he knows that you don’t NEED him but you DESIRE him. There is a difference. Men love to see a woman handling her own business and having her own thing going on. They find that highly attractive that is why it is important to spend time alone now so you can identify what you truly desire to do with your life and develop a plan of action on how to get started NOW!

As a single woman take advantage of spending time in the presence of God, in His word and in prayer talking with Him. Every other relationship you have should be built with Christ being at the center. Another advantage of spending time in the presence of God is it allows you to get to know Christ and in getting to know Him, you get to know yourself and in getting to know your TRUE self your desires for a mate will change. As you mature spiritually those carnal desires will begin to fade away and you will be more in tune with the spirit of your potential mate rather than be fooled by his outer expressions or the car he drives, physique or charming smile. Your discernment will kick in and you will NO LONGER be fooled by counterfeits when your heart has been purged and you are now ready for the REAL THING!

If you enjoyed this blog, check out my book, A Single Woman’s Focus: Every Ruth Needs a Naomi by clicking here: http://carlacannon.com/product/a-single-womans-focus/.

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