How I Overcame the Spirit of Offense & You Can Too

women-arguing1

In life there will come a time that something someone says (or doesn’t say) or do (or don’t do) will come across as offensive to you in regards to your standard or expectation of what you felt should have occurred in each specific incident.

Offense is defined as an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standards or principles.

After much evaluation and self-reflection I admit that I wasted much of my life mad at people who had no idea I was upset, or even confronting people who were clueless to my approach when sharing what they did that offended me.

In most cases I learned it was simply a matter of maturity. Sure, there will be things people will say or do that will rub us the wrong way but we can choose whether to overlook it or determine if it is serious enough to address.

In speaking of the spirit of offense, I like you have been on both sides of the spectrum. I’ve disconnected from people who I felt did not value me enough to change their behavior in relation how I felt they were or were not treating me. I also have had individuals who became offended if I did not reply to their text message or message they may have sent me on social media as quickly as they would have liked me to.

I know this sounds petty but so is the spirit of offense. Here is the number one thing that set me free: PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. People are going to be people. People are going to mess up. People are going to disappoint; some intentionally and others unintentionally but either way at one time or another friction is going to occur.

My evaluation of this is that it isn’t about what others do or don’t do that’s the most important. What matters the most is how we choose to handle the situation before it leads to an offense or even further a fall out with a family or friend.

Here’s How I Overcame and You Can Too: 

  1. Understand we all are flawed.
  2. Be patient with people while sharing your expectation
  3. Never try to control people.
  4. Place people in the proper position. Perhaps you are trying to make someone a friend who does not possess the necessary qualities. Or trying to make someone a mate who simply can not bring to the table what you desire of them.
  5. Take everything to the Lord in prayer.
  6. Weigh the situation on the peace scale. Do you have peace about going to the person? Is it really that big of a deal? Or does it continue to reoccur and bother you and you feel disrespected.
  7. Learn to observe more than you speak. People will always show us exactly who they are and what they are capable of if we will pay attention.
  8. Ask God to purge your heart and strengthen you so that everything doesn’t bother you.
  9. Don’t keep it bottled up. Journal it and only have necessary conversations with those who matter the most. The girl who accidentally bumped you in the mall isn’t important enough for you to lose your cool publicly. However, someone whom you continue to bump heads with in business may be of importance for you to have a conversation.
  10. Learn how to communicate effectively- Often times we talk while failing to communicate. Listen closely with the intention to understand rather than to respond. Then choose your words wisely and avoid beginning conversations with “You.” Instead try “When you do ______, it makes me feel ___________.”

In following the above steps the spirit of offense will have no space in your life.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Did You Know You Were a Trailblazer?

SuccessWomanSuit620480When you think of the word “trailblazer” what comes to mind? I’m sure you thought of the word “innovator”, “pioneer” , “trendsetter” or even “ground breaker” which all make up the sum total of what a trailblazer is. Do you know that now is the time for you to come forward with your ideas, dreams and visions.

How would you like to dream with your eyes wide open rather than when you are sleeping? The only way to do this is to make your dreams a reality which is by getting laser focused on your overall vision and break them down into short and long term goals.

One thing I’ve noticed about women is we are great at nurturing the gifts, talents and abilities of others but when it comes to us doing our own thing we struggle, we suddenly can’t bring our own ideas into execution. Why is that?

Do you feel guilty for focusing on your God given assignment? Do you feel that others will talk about you if God begins to raise you up? Can I tell you that whether you step out on faith and begin to live life on purpose or not, people are going to talk!

gossipping

I remember before I began writing books, coaching women or hosting events people talked about me negatively. Guess what? As I began to experience success in ministry and my business nothing changed. As a matter of fact, it was intensified!

nene_l

Think about other successful people you know or perhaps even some whom you watch often on television. I want to use Nene Leakes as an example. Before becoming a hit star on Housewives of Atlanta, Nene was a stripper who admits to making several mistakes throughout life including her very public marital relationship with Greg. Folks talked about her before she blew up on television and they are still talking now that she is living the life of her dream! But guess what changed in the midst of the senseless chatter? The number of commas and zeros in Nene’s check!

Beyonce-

What’s my point? It’s time for you to move forward NOW! There will never be a perfect time. You  my friend will have to make time! We hear often that we all have the same  number of hours in a day as Beyonce’ and that is so true! But what we choose to do with our time is the difference.

Are you going to continue to watch people like Nene Leakes or even Beyonce’ live their dreams while you eat your popcorn and drink your soda pop making them rich because they get paid off of your views. OR are you going to get up and take action toward fulfilling your own dreams?

logo with women

You may be asking, well Carla how do I do this? I have great dreams and visions but no clue where to start! This is why I created Trailblazers Coaching Academy in which I am dedicating my time and attention only on women who are ready to go to the next dimension in their ministry, business (career), and overall life!

Here’s how you can get started TODAY! Join me for our Spring/Summer semester as we kick start this program on Monday, May 4, 2015 at 8pmEST!

This program consists of (1) 60 minute coaching call with me per month,email access to me and accountability! This is not a system designed to take up a lot of your time but only to provide you with the necessary tools needed in order for you to be successful!

Come on, you owe it to yourself to be successful! You have spent countless amount of hours helping everyone else pursue their passion, identify their life’s purpose and execute their dreams. Now is the time for you to add yourself to your calendar and tell everyone, “I am finally taking time for me!”

Upon signing up at http://www.trailblazerscoaching.org I will send you an assessment form which is very simple and straight forward as it relates to who you are, what your goals are for 2015 and we will then begin to tackle your list one at a time!

Please don’t miss this opportunity and the investment is only $47/month! That is dirt cheap for the amount of wisdom I am going to be pouring into you! But I wanted to make it affordable and really help women eliminate all excuses and begin to live a more fulfilled life TODAY!!!! Remember excuses only satisfy those who make them! Now who’ s with me?

If you are interested in TBA click here http://www.trailblazerscoaching.org to learn more and sign up and please share this blog so other women can take advantge of this great opportunity as well!

tba promo flyer