Setback for a Comeback!


On yesterday millions tuned in worldwide to watch the Superbowl where the New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcon were fighting for the crown! Up until the third quarter it appeared the Atlanta Falcons were going to take home the big win. Never in NFL history had a team at that much of an upper hand on its opponent and not taken home a trophy.

The Atlanta Falcons kicked off the game literally blazing trails as they scored one touch down after another. Upon arriving to the third quarter the score was 28 to 3! However, I’m sure Atlanta fans were screaming and thought for sure this was their year to finally bring one home.

But then something happened. New England Team member, Tom Brady began to come in and literally take over the game! It was as if he had waited for this moment and was not moved by the scoreboard for he had assured his time that tonight was their night. New England showed up with a new energy that had not been witnessed until now.

Little did we know the Atlanta Falcons would not score again. The game ended up tied and went into overtime. With Falcons’ fans sitting on the edge of their seats the Patriots were all over the field. They were hitting interceptions and touch downs right and left. Now I am no true football fan however, I was watching the entire game last night with someone who is and I was tuned in as I watched this championship team being setback for what at the time seemed to be a takeover. But little did we know they were simply set back for a comeback!

History was made on last night for no team has ever been that low and recovered. New England Patriots took the trophy home with a win of 34-28. It was the highlight of their life and many of the team mates showed extreme emotion as reporters flocked to them and they all hugged and jumped around to celebrate their victory.

Why am I sharing this? You may appear to be down for the count. You may appear to have lost. Your opponent may appear to have won. But a second wind is being imparted into you now and I dare you to receive it! Open up your heart and mind and release the spirit of fear, doubt, unbelief and defeat and in exchange receive confidence, faith, assurance and victory!

You have what it takes to thrive in the midst of what is going on currently in America or better yet what may be taking place right now in your marriage, on your job or even with your children. You were simply setback for a comeback!

Now dust yourself off and walk with your head held high as the champion you are!!!!








How to Develop a Positive Self Image

How to Develop a Positive Self Image: Steps to Rebuilding After You’ve Been Torn Down
In order to operate successfully as a BOSS one must possess a positive self image. How we think of and view ourselves is usually embedded into us via our childhood. Whether it was your father who validated you, or failed to do so; your mother who protected you,or failed to do so; a teacher who saw the best in you and encouraged you to dig deeper; or failed to do so; etc. Each of these interactions helped shape our mentality (how we view ourselves) as well as our individuality (what sets us a part from others)
Perhaps you were like me in which you had teachers who doubted you and declared over your life that you would never be anything. Or maybe you had family members who doubted you or counted you out because of your issues. Or loved ones you violated you instead of protecting you. Been there? I have too.
But the great news is it’s never too late to overcome even our deepest childhood hurts and lingering wounds.
I want to ask you the following questions and I want you to be honest with yourself:
1. How do you view yourself? -Do you see yourself through the lenses of others and your past or the lenses of God’s word in regards to your future?
2. What do you say about you? – When you fail at a particular task or activity do you then label yourself as a failure?
3. How do you care for YOU? – Do you care for your temple by monitoring what you eat, watch and who you surround yourself with?
Repeat this after me and fill in the blank:
– I forgive _________ for doing ___________ to me. – Now is the time to release those who have held you captive due to you not releasing them wholeheartedly.
– I forgive myself for ___________________.- We all make mistakes and now is the time to forgive yourself and stop holding yourself hostage due to previous mistakes.
-I give myself permission to __________________. – Greatness is within you! It simply needs to be UNLOCKED, UNLEASHED & ACTIVATED! Guess what? You have the keys! Utilize them!
– I will passionately pursue my dream of becoming a __________________. -Life is full of possibilities and endless opportunities make a decision today to get out of your own way and passionately pursue purpose.
After you have went through the above self-coaching activity I’d like to leave you with a few things:
Steps to Develop a Positive Self Image:
1. Refuse to accept what was spoken over you. – You are NOT who they say you are but who God says you are! Embrace it and accept it as your reality.
2. Renounce all negative words- Detox your mind and spirit of every negative emotion. Journal it out if you have to; as long as you release it.
3. Declare Gods truth over your life despite your reality – God’s word is the final authority for your life.
4. Recondition your mind- Do this by reading books that will restore your spirit. Start with the Word of God and then inspirational books that provide strategies to restore your self esteem and increase your confidence. Your true identity is found in Christ, not in the opinions of others.
5. Develop a healthy attitude about yourself which will be a contributing factor to how u view and relate to others.- How you feel about yourself is a reflection of how you treat others. Remember this.
6. Be strategic & intentional about WHO you spend your time with.- Who speaks over you has access to your soul. Soul= mind will and emotions. What we hear effects how we feel and how we feel influence what we do and say.
Doing the above will make you confident in your call, clarify your identity and teach you the necessity of celebrating others.
For more on deep soul searching, confidence building and positive self-image building activities click here to learn about: Defining the Pearl: Carla’s Signature Coaching Program that has helped hundreds of women worldwide: Sign up today & receive (1) additional (30) minute one on one coaching session!

Are You Executing or Making Excuses?

Do you often find yourself daydreaming about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s? You know what these are. Perhaps you say to yourself, “I should of hired a coach!” “If I did I could be much further than I am now.” Or maybe you have said, “I would do _______ if only I had _____________.

The three things I have witnessed so many women fill that last line with is: support, time and money. As a business coach I often hear women say, I would pursue my dreams but I don’t have a good support system. Or I would work out but I just can’t seem to find the time. Or I want to hire you as a coach but I do not have the money.

There are two types of people in this world: Those who watch things happen and those who make things happen. The word “make” here doesn’t mean that these individuals hold all power in their hands but what it does mean is they take intentional steps and make intentional sacrifices in order to make their dreams a reality. This is what I want to encourage you to do today. Refuse to allow another year to pass you by while others make time to pursue their dreams which in turn helps them provide a better quality of life for their family.

What if I told you there was a way you could still spend time with your family or at your local church as well as pursue your dreams? What if I told you that the excuses you are making will only cause you to remain stagnant while others move forward in purpose tackling giants that arise in their life head on? What if I told you life is about choices and we can choose to make excuses or we can choose to execute!

Truth is everything you need to live a meaningful life has already been presented before you. What you have to do is experience a change in your perspective. You have the money you need to get started. You have the support you need to launch out. You have the time needed to create a legacy for your family but it’s up to you to realize it.

Choose today to no longer allow lack to be your portion. So often we say, “I can’t afford this” or “I can’t afford that.” Meanwhile, our hair and nails are done. We eat out with our co-workers on a consistent basis and we are always rocking the finest apparel. Truth is, we pay for what we want. The Good Book tells us that where your “treasure” is there your money will be also.

I can assure you that if it is coaching that you need or to hire a new graphic designer to assist with marketing a virtual event you want to host, you have the means to do so.

Coming to this realization begins with one thing: How bad do YOU really want it? Some things in life we simply do not want bad enough. Because when you want something bad enough you are willing to eat oodles and noodles, hot pockets, beanies and weanies for months if that’s what it takes for you to pursue your dream! Unfortunately success will cost us our time and money. Although it doesn’t take money to make money you can definitely generate ways to use what you have to produce the income you need.

Grab a pen & pad & answer the following questions:

  1. What are 3 things I can do without right now for the next 6 months in order to pursue my dream?
  2. What do I offer for free that I could and should be charging for?
  3. Am I willing to sacrifice picking up a 2nd job to pay for the coaching/training I need to position myself to live the life of my dreams?
  4. What is ONE thing I can do now that can change the trajectory of my life?

Take a moment and answer the above questions and answer them honestly. Next, I want you to pull out your check book or log into your banking account online and make a list of all of the unnecessary transactions you’ve made just today or the previous week, or last month. How much of that money could have been used toward having your website created? How much of that could have been used toward the creation of a new product?

Now put your pen down and reflect. Do you see how you have had everything you have needed all the while? You actually CAN afford to pursue your dreams. You CAN afford to hire a coach. You CAN go back to college to further your education. You DO have time to work out. You DO have time to spend with your spouse and your loved ones while doing what you love professionally.

Always remember, when you are serious about your future others will work with you but no one is handing out freebies. Matter of fact you shouldn’t even want a hand out! Statistics prove that individuals who invest in themselves tend to be more successful than those who are handed a free pass. If everything in life were handed to you and I we wouldn’t value anything.

So what is it that you need to do right now? Regardless of what it is or how much it cost, determine if it is worth the investment by asking: (1) Will doing this one thing help change my life? (2) Am I willing to do the work? (3) Am I really sick and tired of being sick & tired?

Once you answer these questions truthfully you will know if you still want to play around or if you are desperate for change and are willing to do what it takes to see it manifest in your life! To experience success it will cause you to have to experience temporary discomfort as you are creating the life you desire or deserve. All of the greats from Oprah Winfrey to Bill Gates even to Warren Buffett had to experience uncomfortable circumstances as they took the stairs to success.

Make a decision to minimize and even eliminate all excuses and position yourself to EXECUTE!

2017 is the year to UNLOCK, UNLEASH & ACTIVATE! You have what it takes you just need to get out of your own way!

*If you are ready to snatch back your life and get on a path to discover your purpose in the fullness of what God intended I’d love the opportunity to mentor you. Trailblazers Coaching Academy was strategically designed for individuals like you who are sick of self-sabotaging behavior and are finally ready to get out of their own way! If you are serious and in desperate need of permanent change visit and sign up today!

Are You REALLY Doing What God Called YOU to Do?



We are living in a day and time where the “busy” bug is biting so many of us. We are busy doing this and busy doing that without really making no true and lasting impact.

When in pursuit or discovery of our purpose it is vital that we return to our Source to receive clear instruction on what we should be doing during our short time here on this earth.

We each have an assignment and it is up to you and I to accept the call, submit to the process and fulfill our mission.

There are several ways you can know if you are doing exactly what God has called you to do but for the sake of time we will focus on one:

  • You feel absolute peace even in the midst of controversial or strenuous times.

Weighing all that you do on the peace scale will save you from having to take various medications due to anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.

Weighing everything on the peace scale is sure to not necessarily keep you in your comfort zone but even in the midst of walking on water you exude a confidence that literally takes over because it is not your strength or ability you are relying on.

This week focus on doing only what God has instructed you to do. Stop watching what everyone else is doing or how successful they appear to be. True success has nothing to do with wealth or money but more so with mindset and obedience.

Obeying God can bring about great peace in your life. Make a decision today to passionately pursue peace and refuse to overwhelm yourself with chasing dreams and goals. Seek the Master and He will enable all of your dreams to come true!

*Are you interested in mentorship/coaching? See the flyer below & visit to learn more & sign up today!


Inner Circle, Outer Circle & Balcony Sitters



We are the sum total of the individuals we spend the most time with.

As we prepare to enter into a new year it’s important to do what I call a ‘Circle Check.’ In doing a circle check people fall into two categories. Either those you are connected to are an asset or a liability.

If they are an asset they add to your life. If they are a liability they are taking away from your life. Either way it is up to you to give people proper placement in your life.

You have those in which you will grant direct access (these are typically your spouse, close friends, spiritual advisors), then there are those you have to deny certain access to (these can be mentees and those in which you are called to serve) and then finally there are those in which you simply have to place in the balcony (as my sister, Real Talk Kim categorizes it.)

Those in which you give direct access to you may answer their phone calls immediately knowing they will value your time because they respect who you are, what you are called to and are there to add to your life not deter you from your destiny.

Next, you have those in which you may have to deny personal access to however, you may be there for them professionally. These are typically clients or mentees in which you are called to however, you may have to develop boundaries and keep it professional to ensure you are respected for the role you are called to serve in their life.


Finally, there are those in which you have to place in the balcony and they may be family members and even long time friends. They mean well but fail to respect your time, lack focus and tend to bring you down from your wall of building and becoming all you were created to do.

When inserting people in the proper place you in return upgrade your life because you have not only upgraded your circle but you become clear on the roles certain people are called to serve in your life as well as you in theirs.

Here are the benefits of placing people in their proper place:

  1. Frees you from clutter- It is time to get rid of space fillers. Become more selective by valuing who you are and who you grant access to.Never be so anxious for friends that you allow individuals to come in who do not share your core values.
  2. Expands your level of thinking- Fill your circle with individuals who are smarter than you.Don’t allow them to intimidate you but understand that your network determines your net worth.
  3. Prevents you from shrinking back. When you fill your circle with other visionaries and water walkers then the spirit of competition and jealousy is rare. You want to surround yourself with others who are productive are not only dreamers but also EXECUTERS. They don’t just talk the talk but they walk the walk!
  4. Positions you for greater: If you are the only one in your circle walking in favor and opening doors for everyone else and they are simply riding along reevaluate those relationships.Relationships/Friendships should be of a mutual benefit. Meaning I come into this friendship with x,y,z and you enter in with x,y,z.

    Develop a vision for the type of friend you desire to be and the type of friends you desire.

    1. Know the difference between friends, fans and followers. Bishop Jakes calls them comrades, constituents and confidants.Friends have your back and are what I call your “Ride & Live.” Having them around makes life so much better.

      Fans are those who follow from afar and simply love and are often amazed by what you DO not necessarily who you are.


  • Followers are those who support you but you don’t have them in your personal space or inner circle. They support your movement but aren’t necessarily those you would invite to your home (your sanctuary and only available for those in your intimate circle.)
  1. Increases your faith– You want friends in your life where great things are happening in their life to the point that it increases your faith as it relates to what God is doing for you!It’s no fun to be the only friend experiencing financial breakthrough while others in your circle are hooked on struggle which often originates back to mind set.

    This is why you find rich people filling their circle with other rich people because statistics prove that rich or successful people think differently from poor or unsuccessful people.


REMEMBER: Law of Attraction: We attract what we are not what we desire.

Mistakes Small Business Owners Make on Social Media & How to Correct Them

6 Mistakes Small Business Owners Make Via Social Media & How to Correct Them

Being in business for the past six years I’ve seen and learned a lot. One thing I have noticed is that finding clients is a lot easier now than it was even three years ago.
We have various social media platforms that if used properly can get our message out to the masses.

The problem I see many emerging and established entrepreneurs make is (1) not being on social media at all and (2) not using social media effectively and appropriately. Today I want to share how you can use social media to take your business to the next dimension and expand your brand in the process.

Here are  6 Mistakes Small Business Owners Make Via Social Media & How to Correct Them:

1. Having an unclear brand: Take time to fill out the “About Me” portion on FB as well as the introductory characters on IG & TWITTER. This gives a clear picture of who you are & what you do at a glance. Be sure to post content that compliments or properly displays your brand.

2. Not identifying your USP (Unique Serving Proposition): As business owners our ultimate purpose for being on social media should be to accumulate more clients & connect with other bosses. We don’t care what you are eating or who your new boo is (unless its complimentary to your brand.) If it doesn’t increase your bottom line (lead you to being profitable) DON’T POST IT!

3. Being too salesy – I see people simply posting saying, “SIGN UP TODAY” or “BUY MY BOOK” instead of developing content that leads to a landing page, or sharing the results your program, product or event will produce.

4. Having way too much going on- A confused mind will NEVER buy. Focus on building ONE brand at a time & become known for that SPECIFIC area of expertise. Rid yourself of the temptation to be a back of all trades. Identify the ONE thing you do exceptionally well & capitalize on it!

5. Sharing too many personal posts- As public figures it’s natural to share family photos; etc. however, if you have a tendency to post out of your emotions this could discourage others from taking you & your business seriously. Post only things that compliment your business/brand OR create a personal page (or blog) to do to do so.

To learn more about brand expansion click here to watch my latest video. Also, feel free to reply to this email to learn how you can work with me:

*Would you like to learn more? Schedule a business consultation with me at*

5 Ways to Turn Your Passion into a Lucrative Business



As an established entrepreneur I am living proof that it is possible to turn your passion into a profitable business. I can remember a time when I literally used to hate Mondays. I dreaded getting out of the bed in the mornings and going to a job to see people I hated working with (just being honest) and clients who got on my last nerves.

Finally one day I made a decision to take control of my life and pursue what I loved full time. That was helping people by hosting live events, writing books; etc.

By following these simple five steps below you too can develop your passion into a profit and position yourself to run a lucrative business. Success does not mean your process has to be difficult. Truth is success is quite simple but we as humans tend to over complicate the process.

What do I mean by this? We over complicate the process by (1) being in a hurry, (2) comparing our gift to others and (3) not following the blueprint left behind by many who have gone before us.

I encourage you as we prepare to emerge into 2017 to commit to keeping all things simple from your personal to professional life. Doing so will enable you to find more joy in your day to day activities. Doing so will enable you to enjoy the journey and not focus so much on the destination.

5 Ways to Turn Your Passion into a Lucrative Business

1. FOCUS on the problem(s) you solve for others. People always think, “WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME?” Whether its in hiring you for a service or purchasing your product,

2. MARKET results you provide & include testimonials of those you have helped! (Here is where you include the testimonials of all your friends who you have coached or helped before recognizing your gift & how to monetize it.)

3. BE transparent. Regardless of your selected industry your personal story/testimony is your #1 connector to your audience.

4. IDENTIFY your USP (Unique SERVING Proposition): No matter how saturated your chosen market is there is always a way to stand out & do what others aren’t doing on a CONSISTENT basis!

5. FOLLOW the blueprint: Learn from the success stories of others. Remember to duplicate their ethics & system but NOT their material! Establish your own voice!

*Would you like to learn more? Schedule a business consultation with me by clicking here:

How to NOT Go Broke This Holiday Season


It’s about that time of the year and believe it or not many fall into depression, anxiety and self-pity due to lack of preparation or simply trying to keep up with the Joneses. I want to take a moment today to share with you the importance of not falling into the trap of allowing others to tell you where to spend your money.

Speaking of which, there is a difference between spending (or blowing) your money and investing it.

To “spend” is defined as “using money to pay for something, or “to use energy or effort to do something.”

To “invest” is defined as “to commit (money) in order to earn a financial return,” or “to make use of for future benefits or advantages.”

During this holiday season I want you to ask yourself the following question before you swipe your credit or debit card; before you pull your money out of the bank; and before you sign on the dotted line: “Am I spending or investing?” 


One thing my mother always taught me that has stuck with me throughout my adulthood is this, “A sale is only a sale IF you NEED it!” This time of the year there will be all kinds of people, voices, things claiming your attention because it’s half off or even as the picture above, 70% off. But what good is it if it is not something you really need. You have to make a decision on whether you are simply just going to spend (or blow) your money or if yo choose to invest it.

As noted above there is a big difference. For example: If you go to the mall and buy multiple pair of shoes at $100 the question would be: Am I simply purchasing these shoes because I want them (spending) or are they truly an investment and something I need Well, it would depend on what you are using the shoes for? As for myself, I am a speaker in which I travel the country speaking on various platforms and my appearance plays a large part into my business.

Therefore, for me to purchase (2) pair of shoes at $100 each that may usually be $400 each could be a sale that I could take advantage of that would assist me in bringing in more revenue simply because I chose the right shoes. I remember attending Bishop T.D. Jakes’ Woman Thou Art Loosed Conference a few years ago and they sat me not too far from Pastor Paula White. During one of those “look at your neighbor” moments she looked my direction and just so happened to catch a glimpse of my multi color peek toe pumps I had just purchased prior to attending the event. Because she was attracted to my shoes, that caused her to lean back, throw her hand on my leg to grab my attention and started a conversation by saying, “I love your shoes!” From there we had small talk, she prayed over me and we parted ways with a hug. I’ll never forget that moment.

So yes, ladies (and gentlemen) there is POWER IN CHOOSING THE RIGHT SHOES!

Ok…where was I? Oh yeah… so when purchasing shoes I personally view them as an investment considering they are a part of my presentation (both physical appearance and information I’ll be sharing with audiences globally.)

As a young entrepreneur I am learning to become more frugal by not spending every dime I make. My motto is “Don’t take all of your money to the mall. Take it to the BANK!” Of course after you give God His 10% and pay your bills (ON TIME) But after that yes, take it to the bank and stop trying to be a DIVA!

Believe it or not, I don’t shop as much as people may think. Not for clothes anyway. I absolutely love the book store and I have to put myself on a budget prior to entering! I am the girl who could walk in the mall and spend about twenty minutes in there and maybe only come out with a bag or two. On the flip side, I’m the same girl you’d have to drag out of the book store! I know I can’t read them all at once but their like Pringles, you can’t just buy one!

So basically what I am saying is I view the following as investments: Getting my hair done, manicure, pedicure, teeth cleaned, books,  coaching and programs. All of these things have an ROI (Return on Investment) attached to them.

Let me explain: Due to the type of work I do (speaker, author, coach & entrepreneur) how I present myself to the world is very important. I am not saying I am caught up on designer names and all of that because I am not. However, I do purchase clothes of value that will not shrink, rip or fade after one wear.

Next, investing in my hair, nails and feet are a plus because they too help make up my brand. Whether you choose to accept it or not people judge you by the way you look. Remember the movie, Pretty Woman, Vivian (played by Julia Roberts) was a beautiful woman who had gotten caught up in the wrong lifestyle. Although she entered into a very exquisite boutique with tons of money to purchase whatever she wanted, she was rejected by the staff simply because she did not look the part.


Lesson to learn here: In life we must dress for success but also get rid of the excess! Less is usually better. You don’t have to overdo it or try to be noticed. Stick with who you are and dress for the occasion. Wherever you go, look like you belong there and watch others take notice.

Now, if you are like my thirteen year old daughter who wants a pair of $220 Jordan’s just to keep up with your friends or impress them then that is money spent; not an investment. Notice the key words here: My THIRTEEN year old daughter! Motive plays a lot in how and why we spend versus invest.  

Ok, ok I’m wrapping up because I understand the average attention span of most is approximately (8) seconds. Therefore, if you are still reading this I take it as I am doing pretty good huh? (laughs) But I won’t push it!

Let’s end with a few thought provoking questions to help you analyze your spending:

  1. What were the last (5) things I purchased?
  2. Was it simply money spent or an investment?
  3. What plan are you going to put in place NOW to re-position you to be an investor versus a spender?


As a Breakthrough Coach I offer one on one coaching in the area of budgeting. Although I am no expert, however, I have completed quite a few financial trainings in which I have been able to position myself to spend beneath my means and learn how to focus on what is important not allow every SALE or commercial to control my finances or stimulate me emotionally.

If you too are ready to overcome in this area and need assistance in getting your personal finances in order I’d love to share spreadsheets and systems I use that can help you regain control in this area as well. By coaching with me you can kiss living from paycheck to paycheck good bye! Say hello to being able to do what you want, when you want! All you  need is discipline and implement a few re-adjustments! Trust me, we have all been here so don’t be embarrassed. Click below to work with me today. Confidentiality rights are in place that covers you as a client. You will work with me and only me. No worries. Sign up now by clicking below:

Trailblazer 1 on 1 Coaching

Embracing Your Singleness

                                                       ~Living the Happy Single Life~


Often times I am asked, “Why are you still single?” or “Why aren’t you married?” or even “What are you waiting for?” These type of questions always left me wondering what was wrong with me or why wasn’t I married yet. I even allowed these seeds sown by others to cause me to think I wasn’t good enough or as if true love would never find me.

Then it dawned on me: Carla you are only in your early 30’s. You are still discovering who you are, what you desire and what you truly want out of life. I believe too often we allow the opinions of others to cause us to dive into relationships broken, shattered and with various scars and even wounds that were left unattended out of a rush to find love.

In response to our premature actions (combined with outside influences), we end up with even deeper wounds and scars and even greater heartbreak. If I may be honest, relationships for me have always been distracting and left my tank on empty. Things would start off great and then end up horrible. I dated younger guys, older guys, black guys, white guys and my experiences all left me…in tears.

After much self evaluation I learned that I still carried a lot of hurt, shame, rejection and abandonment issues from my past and I attracted others who had the same or similar issues. I believe it’s called being woman enough when we can be honest and say, “I am not in the best condition at this time to date. I am working on ME.”

Often times we want to blame others, or men for example, instead of taking responsibility for our part. Truth is, we are what we attract and if we do not like what we are attracting we simply need to submit to our process of experiencing inner healing.

Being a professional woman and raising a teenager, I admit the path to self discovery can be a lot on one person. However, just because it’s challenging doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Below are a few ways I’ve learned to keep my head above water and Embrace the Single Life While Working on ME in the process:  

(1) PRIORITIZE YOUR LIFE: Understand God’s proper order for your life NOW so when your husband arrives you are already disciplined and accustomed to being submissive. You will understand that the proper order is: God first, your spouse (family) then everything else follows.

*Living a balanced life: Too much of anything can become bad. Don’t get caught up in feeling as if you have to attend EVERY church service and continue to neglect your family by missing special events such as birthday celebrations, anniversaries; etc. In doing so may cause your spouse (in the future) and loved ones to begin to resent the church and the God you say you serve. It’s okay to take time for family for even in doing so is an act of worship.

(2) FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES! Developing an optimistic attitude toward your single life can and will make each day enjoyable! Here are some things you can focus on rather than reminding yourself daily that you don’t have a man:

– You only have to answer to God

– Can focus fully on your own vision

– Your money is all yours (ha!)

– You can enjoy undisturbed fellowship with covenant sisters

– You can give yourself completely over to God

-You can launch your business! Write the Book Already! Or start your own organization

– You have time to work on you: Enroll in that new pilates class you’ve been desiring to be a part of, or purchase that Tae- Bo or P90X DVD and GET TO WORK on transforming your body and becoming the best version of YOU!

– Travel the world pursuing your dreams

(3) GET RID OF THE JUNK! This time of the year it’s always good to detox your mind, body and spirit from all the junk from this year. I even practice doing this on a daily basis. I encourage you to go on a 60 day spiritual detoxification journey and during that time study God’s word and spend more time in prayer. Allow God to break old habits that are not conducive to your future and also break unhealthy soul ties that perhaps have been lingering from your past preventing you from embarking upon the future God has for you!

(4) ENJOY TIME ALONE! Don’t be so anxious to link up with a man when you have yet to learn how to spend time by yourself. No man desires a super clingy woman. What are you going to do when he wants to go play golf or basketball with the boys? It is important that you have a well-established life before your mate shows up so he knows that you don’t NEED him but you DESIRE him. There is a difference. Men love to see a woman handling her own business and having her own thing going on. They find that highly attractive that is why it is important to spend time alone now so you can identify what you truly desire to do with your life and develop a plan of action on how to get started NOW!

As a single woman take advantage of spending time in the presence of God, in His word and in prayer talking with Him. Every other relationship you have should be built with Christ being at the center. Another advantage of spending time in the presence of God is it allows you to get to know Christ and in getting to know Him, you get to know yourself and in getting to know your TRUE self your desires for a mate will change. As you mature spiritually those carnal desires will begin to fade away and you will be more in tune with the spirit of your potential mate rather than be fooled by his outer expressions or the car he drives, physique or charming smile. Your discernment will kick in and you will NO LONGER be fooled by counterfeits when your heart has been purged and you are now ready for the REAL THING!

If you enjoyed this blog, check out my book, A Single Woman’s Focus: Every Ruth Needs a Naomi by clicking here:

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Building a SOLID Foundation Through Prayer


I would like to begin by asking a question to our listeners: “Are you living or are you existing?” Take a moment and really think about that question.

Before we can go out into the world and make a huge impact we must first be willing to face what I call our HARD TRUTHS.

To live means you are fulfilling your purpose; the ultimate reason why you were created and placed in the earth by your Creator.

To exist means you are simply here taking up space.

My Story:

At one point of my life I was simply existing like many of you listening I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, although some of my peers may beg to differ because as a teenager I wore the best, my mom drove the best but I was a scorn child who grew up in a dysfunction, abusive environment. Because of it I went to school and acted out what I saw demonstrated at home.

Because of this pattern and never ending cycle in school I was labeled by my teachers as Behaviorally Emotionally Handicapped.

What that means is a disability that impacts a person’s ability to effectively recognize, interpret, control, and express fundamental emotions.

So as a child I was told I didn’t know how to relate or get along with others and because of this I struggled in my relationships both platonic and monogamous.

I was also labeled as ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) which means I could not pay attention and would make careless mistakes as well as had an inability to finish or follow instructions. So here was yet another label placed on my life before I could (1) learn what my purpose was in the earth? (2) How I was to operate or walk out that purpose to live a fulfilled life.

I was also told by teachers that I would never amount to anything because of my behavior. I was also nicknamed, “Carla Bad” by some of my family members due to my defiant behavior.

Being an out of control teen I lost my virginity by the age of 14 which led to me becoming pregnant by the age of 17 which was my senior year in high school.

I barely graduated high school, matter of fact I remember my then boyfriend paying $500 for me to go to summer school which is where I received my high school diploma.

After a relationship ending with the man I just knew would be my husband I was hurt, I was lost, and I now was responsible for this precious life when I had no idea how I was going to raise.

To make matters worse I became promiscuous and began to do things that were not in line with my Christian faith.

I began to party, smoke, drink and found myself in toxic relationships that led to me finding myself alone, angry, cold and isolated.

I finally accepted that hey, this is just how my life is going to be. But boy was I wrong. I remember riding with my mom one day and it was as if I could literally hear God’s audible voice say, “You are a Woman of Standard.” 

I remember those being the sweetest words ever. That day in my mom’s car I later learned through the tears and calmness I felt that day was I had experienced BREAKTHROUGH.

Growing up I always knew to pray and no matter what situations I found myself in I would always talk to God but I didn’t always obey what I heard in response and that is point #1:

Prayer is not only the foundation to our life but is how we receive instruction for our life. Prayer is simply a conversation we have with Christ where we talk to Him and He in return talks back to us through His word, through others or through the peace that we feel when headed in the right direction. Or also the lack of peace we experience when we are headed in the wrong direction.

The day I experienced BREAKTHROUGH is the day I received instructions on what the very purpose was for my pain. I learned that day that I had a voice and although I didn’t have gifts like my older sister such as singing, dancing, being able to double ditch like no other and being popular. But I was a writer.

As I began this journey of being a born again Believer this time I actually practiced obeying God’s words rather than hearing them and still doing my own thing.

I began to write personal letters to encourage the women in my network, which later turned into a newsletter which then turned into a magazine. I was blessed to be able to interview many Gospel greats such as: Dr. Jamal Bryant, Stormie Omartian Tasha Cobbs, Kierra Sheard, Yolanda Adams and many more!

I also became an ordained minister and I later went on to write my first book sharing my story entitled, The Power in Waiting which became an Amazon Best Seller in 24 hours, and went on to make the TOP 10 National Best Sellers List for Black Christian Authors. I remember being in the same category as one of my favorite authors, Valorie Burton.

After I wrote one book I wrote another and another which up to date I have written 4 and they all have done and are still doing very well.

Through prayer by obeying the voice of God I began to go further into my purpose. I began to have others reach out to me to assist them with their book which led to me launching my very own Publishing company, Cannon Publishing.

Up to date I have ran and operated my own businesses for the past 4 years where tomorrow marks exactly 1 year since I fired my boss and hired  myself as COO.

What does PRAYER have to do with all of this? It was because of my prayer life that my purpose was birthed and I was validated by God. Whatsoever you birth in purpose, no one can take away from you nor receive the credit!

Here are a few points I’d like to make about prayer:

  1. Prayer is how we communicate with God- Prayer is a dialogue NOT a monologue. We not only talk to God but we must also LISTEN and OBEY Him when He speaks.
  2. Prayer, combined with God’s word helps us identify WHY we were created and HOW we are to operate in the Earth.
  3. Prayer helps make sense of it all. Everything you’ve been through in life was because of your ultimate calling and reason for being placed in the Earth.
  4. Prayer helps you make the right decisions in your life & your business.
  5. Prayer will save your life. Before making any decisions whether personally or professionally pray about it first to save yourself the headache the world has to offer. Pray before entering that marriage, pray before allowing that person into your personal space, pray before you invest, pray before you welcome a partnership, pray before you decide to show up at an event.
  6. Prayer births purpose- It was prayer that helped me make sense of all of my pain.